Weekly Trash

December Week One

This week I’ve been reading Fellowship of the Ring and Geln Cook’s The Black Company. You may be thinking to yourself “Donavan! How haven’t you read Fellowship already?” And this is what I would say:

The Black Company is really good so far. I’m approximately fifty pages in, so I’m nowhere near getting to know the world or the characters, but the way things are shaping up leaves me excited and interested. I like Glen Cook’s writing style, and how it seems sparse compared to others in the Fantasy genre.

Also fuck you I don’t read often and I’ve only just recently became interested in the Fantasy genre so you can go to hell.

I’m also reading the mangas “JoJo’s Bizaare Adventure pt. 4: Diamond is Unbreakable,” and I’m binging on “OnePunch-Man.” OnePunch is the best. So is JoJo. If you haven’t read either, do it. Or

you could watch them. “Diamond is Unbreakable” isn’t in anime form yet (the first three parts of JoJo are and they are highly recommended go watch them now), however the OnePunch-Man anime is fantastic, and that’s what I’ve been watching. And rewatching. Other than that I’ve been watching random TNA matches featuring AJ Styles. I’m a huge fan of New Japan stuff, and I’ve previously only caught him on that promotion. With that experience combined with the stuff I’m seeing from TNA (a promotion I’ve never previously watched, mind you) I’m starting to see why there’s so much buzz about AJ Styles from the Internet wrestling crowd. He is a fantastic performer who shows off his character as he’s wresting, forgoing a true need for soap opera WWE style dialogue moments. I look forward to seeing more from him, both new and old. His TNA match against Kurt Angle was truly special for me; Kurt being one of my favorite professional wrestlers of all time.

The last paragraph featured professional wrestling and anime. If that offends you I’m not sorry.

So what am I playing? Quick version: Divinity Original Sin Enhanced Edition, Bloodborne, Dark Souls II Scholar of the First Sin, and Fallout 4 for the PS4. Baulder’s Gate Enhanced Edition for the PC. Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon for the 3DS.

I mostly have stuff to say about Divinity and Baulder’s Gate. But quickly:

On Fallout my character suffered a realization of true desperation, causing him to spiral into an alcoholic, naked adventure which ended in many deaths, some innocent but most provoked and well earned. His next target is the Covenant, which he will wipe out before he deals with the thing on his mind causing him so much drama.

So Divinity. Great game, several problems though. The controls, for one, needed more work. Or maybe it’s the UI, more so than the controls. I don’t design games so I’m not going to give suggestions. I just feel as though they are extremely cumbersome, and this isn’t a great when combined with the half-assed tutorialization the player is given. I’m no fan of hand-holding, but the player should at least know how to accomplish the simple tasks required for certain missions. LIKE HOW TO PLACE A FUCKING PENDENT ON A PILLAR. Fuck.

I got really into this game on my days off this week. The dialogue, and characters, are much more interesting than what I typically see form a console game. Yes, I’m aware this is a port over from a Computer Role Playing Game, and that those games typically have better writing. This is, really, my first full experience with CRPGs, and with the new systems I think it’s a great first experience. I like the strategy, reminding me somewhat of XCOM, and I really like the classes, and how their skills often work in synergy. I did run into a problem though, where I leveled my characters completely wrong and inefficiently. Usually I don’t mind this, but because this is a difficult game requiring strategy that relies on how the player builds their characters, I wound up with a party that had no strengths. They were just Jacks of All Trades, and I was dying over and over because my characters couldn’t do anything.

This happened because the game FAILS to inform the player that they have to fucking save skill points in order to keep leveling up desired traits. So instead of giving my warrior another skill point in Two Handed Weapons, I was just pumping the character full of crafting skills, making her FUCKING USELESS. Like the rest of my party. That’s horseshit. Thank Unholy Jesus there’s this thing we call the Internet, where information lurks in the bottom of message boards far and wide. OR ELSE I’D NEVER FUCKING KNOW.

So basically I’m going to restart the entire game. No biggie. The game’s fun, I can bump up the difficulty, and I can choose classes that are more interesting than Fighter and Wizard.

But instead of doing all that during the latter portion of this week…I choose to start up Baldur’s Gate. I remember attempting to play this game years ago, but I was either too young or two disinterested to keep playing because I quit really soon. Right now, I’m loving the short time I’ve spent with this game, and I could see myself playing way more. The interface is ancient, thus requiring much Internet consulting. But since this is an older game I can forgive these things. The tutorialization is actually much better than that seen in Divinity when it comes to teaching the player how to navigate the User Interface, which is saying a lot because Baldur’s Gate is famous for having an utterly lousy tutorial that fails to teach the player everything they really need to know. Getting through the tutorial in this game, where you have to create a completely separate character and go through a completely separate play through that just ends with you having to create an entirely different character again when you start the real game, is a dreadful and obnoxious slog. I got stuck trying to detect a goddamn trap with my rogue, which is an issue several people from the Internet apparently suffered. The tutorial also features long dialogue systems that become tiresome and redundant. I don’t need you to teach me the way in which I can teach a Cleric spells when it’s the same exact way to teach a Wizard spells YOU JUST TAUGHT ME THAT. Still, at least I know how to play the fucking game properly.

The actual game has been really interesting. The first quest of the game, which leads you to the first village, contains an enemy you have to fight that fucking slaughters you over and over again until you learn the correct method of beating him. Or, like in my case, until you search the Internet for the answers. You have to pause AS SOON as combat initiates, issue commands, and hope you interrupt his attacks, otherwise he buffs himself with after images that prevent you from attacking him. Then he affects the player and their party member with fear, rendering them wondering around like useless fuckheads. Even when the player succeeds, their left with two characters near death and no resources to speak of. It makes finding the two additional party members after this combat all the more satisfying and relieving. I look forward to playing more.

That’s the end of my first Weekly Trash. Look forward to these rambling wastes of time in the future every week, where I make laughs out of boring material time and time again.

There will actually be no laughs whoops.

Unfunny Drunk Fuck

12/5/2015

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