Uncategorized

Fuck this Shit

Inspired by NeoGaf thread. It’s all about players’ moments that cause them to give up instantly, never to play the game again. I thought this was interesting, and began recounting the amount of times this actually happened. Figured it would make an interesting post. And as always, I’m fucking right. This is an interesting post.

So I quit games all the time. Most of the time its because of interest; I play a game for awhile, another game comes out and I, allured by its newness, begin playing the new game in lieu of the old one. Sorry guy. Should have kept being new?

However when I was playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City there came a point where I quit the game fucking cold. You remember that mission in the story where you have to pilot the remote control helicopter? The player has to struggle with FUCKED controls through a parking garage, setting bombs upon support beams that are meant to explode. Couldn’t be assed to fact-check or look up why the player must do this to provide story context, so bare with me. It’s a struggle against shitty controls. AND time, because guess what, there’s a time limit to this mission. And its totally unforgiving. Why waste my time? I quit playing that shitty mission, and went right back to fucking around with cheats on the whole time. Still played that game long enough to burn neon colors into the corner of my television, but I never tried playing the story mode again. I’m led to believe that mission type returned in San Andreas, and while I played that game I wouldn’t know, because no Grand Theft Auto has been able to hold my interest for the completion of a story mode.

Remember Jak 2? Jak and Daxter was a mascot platformer for the playstation 2, and it was really good. Then Jak 2 came out, and it was a “dark” and weird GTA clone that included elements of Jak and Daxter but was mostly a game where you shot people and stole cars–though they were weird future hover cars instead of ones cruising on wheels on the ground. These hover cars were an ASS to control. Turning was a fucking issue. Crashing into people was constant, which would not only slow down the player’s speed, but add on the challenge of escaping law enforcement. And there were so many NPCs on screen for the general shallowness of the streets, causing the player to crash FREQUENTLY.

Well, there came this mission that was, again, retained with a time limit. You had to race from one side of the map to another. Should be easy? Nah. I tried this over, and over, and at the age I originally played this game I possessed no patience…so I eventually took the disk out and scratched the fuck out of it.

I sent it back to Gamefly and reported a damaged disk…claiming it came that way. Uh. Sorry Gamefly.

I retried this segment when I was replaying Jak 2 fairly recently. I had just completed a section of Demon’s Souls without dying. When I got to this terrible death race against shitty controls…I eventually completed it. But I found that it was harder than Demon’s Souls without a fucking doubt. Fuck terrible vehicle controls. Fuck them to death.

There comes times when I loose interest and say fuck this shit. Keyword: say. Not yell. It’s never an angry thing. Imagine someone, rather than screaming, whispering the phrase. “fuck this shit” they mutter. They take out the disk, place it inside the box, and do what they will…storing it forever on some dusty shelf…or perhaps selling it back to the heathens at GamePlop.

One game that did this recently was Metal Gear Solid V. The gameplay was more than solid. It was interesting, varied, fun, and driven by player choice. It was a great experience I had…roughly thirty hours…and then no. Nope. Never booting this game up…ever again, likely. Why should I? The story is complete garbage…and that’s saying something for a player enjoying gameplay over story in his video games. I’ve played a Metal Gear; I’ve never finished one, but I expect something in return for my….work. Stealth games are not my forte. They kinda feel like work. I’m a run and gunner. I can’t be assed to wait for some guard to pass me as I lay proned in some grass. I need to kill him now and move on to the next guy. Metal Gear allows for this sure but because I know how satisfying and fun being stealthy is in the game, I do that instead and it…takes longer than I want it to. So even with better gameplay that somehow unfathomably works in an open world setting, if the story isn’t there to push me along…I’m just left waiting for a train that never arrives. There’s no point for me to progress.

I encountered a similar experience much earlier, with the RPG Kingdoms of Amular. The game was relatively fun, with a lot of customization, but as the combat got too repetitive and easy, I stopped caring about such customization, and realized the story itself was just fucking terrible. I didn’t care about anything. I beat this terrible God of War styled boss fight, where a giant thing was attempting to destroy a castle, and I realized–I don’t give a fuck. Never played the game again.

I also quit when I got about twenty hours into Kingdom Hearts 2. Everything was easy, I didn’t care about the plot, and I realized that if I wanted to beat this game I would have to spend way too many hours than I would have liked. Why waste my time?

Here’s another example–Mass Effect 3. I played one and two, so I had the same character. I loved those first two games. I actually kind of love 3–especially its multiplayer, which I thought had no business to be as good as it was. However when it came time to go to earth and save it from destruction…I quit. I packed the game up. I sold that shit.

Because why in the FUCK would my character want to save earth? Because he’s human? SO? He wasn’t BORN on earth, so what fucking attachment does he have to the planet? WHY SHOULD HE CARE?

I should care, right? I, the player of the game. I’m a human being living on planet earth and given the tools and ability if I was presented with the opportunity to save the earth as the sole individual able to save planet earth, I should want to save the planet.

This is a premise that is a staple in video games. Replace planet earth with The United States (itself a notion that is completely fucked, but I won’t dive into that) or  replace planet earth with a woman (same) or replace planet earth with x y or z none of that shit matters because I’M PLAYING A GODDAMN CHARACTER who should (keyword SHOULD) have their own interests. These characters need a reason to want to save the planet or the girl or the country or the family or the neighborhood or the dog or the galaxy or whateverthefuck. Do not lay out an objective that is supposed to allure a player themselves. The character needs cause. There needs to be a reason for a character to want, to need, to do a thing. Why set a goal the character has no reason to care about?

The reason you keep playing Mass Effect games is to experience more story about your companions. Or to defeat the Reapers. WHY IS THE FINAL STAND TO SAVE FUCKING EARTH? We, the players of video games: we have saved the earth countless times in video games THAT HAVE PLAYED BETTER. Like fucking Duke Nukem or Doom or Diablo or…countless other games (that apparently all start with D I don’t know shush). In a RPG which focuses primarily on story telling….maybe make sure the narrative is good? That includes the desire of a character. ESPECIALLY the main character.

I’m only using so much caps lock because I’m passionate about Mass Effect. Or I was. I beat the Suicide Mission my first time with no deaths in the second games. I was all fucking in with my character’s story, and his narrative combined with those of the companions’ stories, only to watch as the universe told me to care about a planet I had never seen before.

GameSold.

R.I.P. Lemmy

12/29/2015

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s