Weekly Trash

February Trash 3

Played a lot of WWE 2k16 this week. I say play, but mostly I just watched my fake, virtual wrestlers compete in a tournament I built, and afterwards I participated in creating a storyline based around one of my CAWs, who is called “Wrestling Jesus.” Self-explanatory, I believe. I’m having more fun thinking up storylines, and watching, then actually playing this game…but that’s kinda the nature of modern wrestling games. They go after realism, rather than fun. So when you play them, you can’t really do all the things you’d want to do in a wrestling game, but when you watch you get a surprisingly fair representation of what you would watch on television.

I still think there needs to be more effort in revitalizing this genre. The games have always come from the mindset that wrestling is real, when everyone knows its not, so the video games are about competing for championships rather than building storylines and creating good shows for the crowd. In 2k16 there’s a mode where you build your own wrestler and play their career, and in this mode you actually feed off of crowd reaction during your matches in order to have the highest scoring matches, ranked by a five star system. This is okay, but it only translates to “you have to use different moves or the crowd will get bored and you’ll have a low score.” You’re still just competing for championships as though it were real. I’d like to see more of a booking simulator. The Universe mode is that, but limited in scope. Give me a game built from the ground up to be universe mode. I’d enjoy that substantially.

Also the game crashes constantly when I’m trying to create a wrestler. Don’t fucking do that.

I’m still going to put a lot of time into this game only to play/watch the universe mode stuff. I love developing my own storylines in my head, jotting down promos and events, planning out title changes and other events. It’s a lot more fun engaging with this fantasy wrestling, rather than watching the fantasy wrestling that’s going on right now. What we have been getting from the WWE has been incredibly disappointing, and it’s been like that for years. They have their moments, and for what it’s worth NXT is almost always worth watching, but the current content is worthless. It may never be as good as what I imagine in my head, since I get to purposely add in impossible scenarios, but it could come reasonably close very easily. Just hire competent writers! The talent in the ring is better than ever before! Just stop giving us half-assed heels (Wyatt Family) and unlikeable faces (Roman Fucking Reigns)!

So speaking of video games crashing, people have fucking problems trying to run XCOM 2 don’t they?


I was originally going to wait and pick this game up later, but the good buzz generated around this release took hold of my interest (as buzz tends to do) so I caved in and bought the video game (as I then to do). My computer was apparently up to snuff to play it, falling short in recommended on naught by the graphics card, so I assumed I would have an easy experience playing this thing. And I do. When I turn every setting to the lowest possible. Huh.

The game’s poorly optimized and that’s what everyone is saying. Even players on newly built monsters report optimization issues, and that’s alarming, considering this time Fraxis has only created a PC version of their game. You’d think the one version would run okay. It’s not necessarily an ugly game, but it’s not at all visually intense, so I don’t see what the problem is getting this thing to run on my system, which while not beefy certainly should run it moderately well. Also, for some reason, the game loads quicker if you have caps lock on. Yes, this actually works, and I’ve tested and seen so myself.


When not fearing for the temperature of my computer, I have been having a blast. I’m not far at all, but the tension during missions, and the customization outside of missions really has me hooked. Game’s chess against aliens, and it really plays well in creating situations that seem impossible until you climb out limbs barely intact. It makes you feel satisfied when you complete a mission without a scratch, and thankful when you best a difficult mission with multiple casualties but your best soldier made it through. You also get the opportunity to really customize and individualize your soldiers, going beyond the designation of name and armor color the first game provided. Players can write the biography of a soldier, and when they die an epitaph. I love going into the memorial and bringing up dead soldier’s names just to talk shit about them on their tomb. “Don’t get shot next time,” I wrote for the soldier I named after myself.

Hey, it was myself.

Other than them’s two, I dicked with Dragon Quest IV on the DS. Just a fun, simple RPG I can play and enjoy while doing other things. Like watching my virtual wrestlers wrestle. Or YouTube. Or Pokemon movies. Man, Pokemon movies were terrible, right? I agree. Let’s be friends.

Alright well, I gotta stop horsing around. Got a lot of virtual wrestling to get through until I get to really start doing the storylines I want to do.

Horse Boys






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