Impressions

Day Two

Dork Souls continues boys. Keep those pants on. I know you’re excited but damn, we’ve got work to do!

DARK SOULS™ III_20160413142824
Sick Bloodborne Tree dude

I progressed through the area I ended last night, finding and defeating the boss. In between boss runs I explored heavily, and I ended up finding a really good battle ax that had dark damage. All combined, it out damaged every other weapon I had substantially, and it gave me a much easier time with the boss and the knights. Those fucking knights.

DARK SOULS™ III_20160412174900

So these guys are not like red eye/blue eye knights from Demon’s Souls, like I originally assumed. I know this because I fought a fuckin’ red eyed knight, and he was a mean son of a bitch. These guys are more or less regular ass enemies. Perhaps comparable to the Balder Knights in Dark Souls 1, in that they attack much more aggressively and do much more damage than your regular enemy. I’m getting better at fighting them, but they have given me some difficulties. I tend to turtle against them because they attack fast and often. What you have to do is dodge, get behind them, and either backstab or R1 spam until they’re dead. If you run out of stamina, roll the fuck away. They kill fast.

Red Eye.jpg
Red Eyed Knight. Don’t worry, I got ’em back.

The boss was pretty good. It moved and attacked a lot like something out of Bloodborne. He killed me a few times but I knew I could beat him on my own–he wasn’t too hard.

I had to laugh though. As soon as I got to the spot where the boss fight happened, I popped an Ember (this game’s version of Humanity, or Soul Vessel) and saw this:

Summon Signs.jpg

Just a PUDDLE of summon signs. Amazing.

I beat the boss and then attempted to drop a sign just to see if anyone would summon me. No one did, or rather they couldn’t, because I would die from fighting red eye bitch up there, removing my sign from the world. I will say that I accidentally attempted to summon someone with one of these signs, but it didn’t work. I don’t know if that’s a problem with my internet connection but I really hope it wasn’t a problem with connectivity. I know from watching streams that Dark Souls III connects instantly on PC, it would be a shame if it connection was ass on PS4.

I’m about to go play more but before I do I must say that this game feels like Dark Souls way more than Dark Souls II did. That’s not really a dig on Dark Souls II, because although not as good as the first Dark, I did quite enjoy it. I know it has a history of being developed by a different team, and I can’t bring myself to remember a time I did not know that so my impressions are a little clouded by time, but I swear when playing the game didn’t feel like Dark Souls 1. In tone. Atmosphere. The way it controlled. The way it sounded. Looked.

This game looks, feels, sounds like Dark Souls. It’s got similar level design, although not entirely the same (Dark Souls 1 was more metroid like in design, this is not). Enemies challenge me similarly to how they did in Dark Souls 1 in the way that I have to learn how to best something before I can progress. Dark Souls II is not really an easy game, but you can beat it pretty easily if you’re just careful, or if you spam ranged magical spells. This game seems as though that is not the case. I don’t have ranged spells yet, but bare with me: You gotta learn more in Dark Souls III. That’s all I’m trying to say! It’s giving me the same kind of exciting vibes as Dark Souls I. Okay? Drop it.

Now here’s a picture of my character pointing, or touching depending on how you look at it, this woman’s vagina.

Pointing at her vagina.jpg
Or maybe her belly? Eh.

Dark Showers

4/13/2016

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