This week’s waste is brought to you by beer.
What have I been doing lately? A lot, actually. I defeated Pokemon Sun and jumped straight into Final Fantasy XV, possibly one of the best surprises of the year. So good that I became a hungry little boy–starting playthroughs of Final Fantasy V AND Final Fantasy IV. Will I ever recover from this terrible blight? Possibly. You can be sure I will emerge with anime hair.
Final Fantasy XV is a huge game that will take some time for me to fully savor. As an open world game, I cannot spend too much time or my bones will tire too quickly. Yet, if I stay away too long, I will forget the game until another game comes along that I will want to buy. Then I will sell the game for another game. See, it goes like this:
Rent a game, Beat it, Rent a game, Beat it, Rent a game
Buy a game, Beat it, Sell the game, Buy another game
I wrote that about some kid I used to work with years ago. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t worry yourself over it. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Always look on the bright side. Chin up. Fellow. Etc.
There’s something about the JRPG, and its form of progression, that really resonates with me at this point in my life. I work a job I hate so that I can afford to do (essentially) whatever I want to do. The end goal is to become a professional writer. But that goal seems so impossible, so intangible, and most importantly so far away, that gaining motivation becomes a real exercise, or rather a chore. It doesn’t help that I have absolutely no momentum–no established regimen or disciplined schedule. It feels like doing so will hamper my creativity and yet without a chance my creativity goes nowhere. I spend too much of that energy writing story plans about my WWE 2017 Universe.
That isn’t to say I haven’t written anything good lately. This year I have written several things I am proud of. Nothing clean enough to see the light of day. There’s one piece I hope to publish soon after some cleaning. A piece of microfiction that I’m very proud of. Yet these pieces usually come out of random spurts of productivity (which usually occurs, oddly, around three in the morning). It’s hard to recreate that kind of productivity and drive when it’s so random and inconsistent.
In a JRPG I have a goal, which is to get to the next story beat, and I have little objectives to accomplish along the way, which is usually as simple as grinding a few levels. The worlds are colorful and bright. The music is typically gorgeous. I can play while listening to podcasts or watching videos on my PC or TV. Tangibility, possibility, and worthwhile purpose matters not. Reality matters not. I beat the boss, and I continue on. It’s a simple kind of rewarding gameplay that feels like work and always (thus far in my experience) pays off. After years of trying to break into the genre, I have a real appreciation for JRPGs as games that offer a more relaxing form of productivity that isn’t completely braindead.
Also I’ve been playing Super Castlevania IV again. Because Fuck You I can do whatever I want it’s almost my birthday damnit.
I’ve been slowly working on my top 20 games of the year. You can expect that around December the 21st. I only have one more game I could play that would make the list and should make the list if it’s as good as I think it is. That’s not a real sentence so forget you ever read it.
I’m not actually drinking, by the way. I don’t want you to think this is a drunk blog post cobbled together in the middle of the night. Especially because it’s about one in the morning here night’s gone it’s done boy forget night night sucks anyway.
I’ve had one beer. Just one.
That’s not enough to get me drunk #notdrunk.
Stay tuned for that 20 list, and keep reading for (hopefully) more substantial content in 2017! That is–content that takes form in more things than fuckin countdowns and ramble pieces.