Weekly Trash

The Summer of Wander

WHOA It’s been a minute, hasn’t it?

This summer has been extremely aimless for me. While I’ve accomplished a lot in my creative side, my video game playing has been an ineffective effort to control my wandering. Well, since it’s the second of October (which I always thought was the true beginning to autumn fuck you calander), I decided an update was in order. I already got all my pumpkin flavors out of the way AND I EVEN ATE A CARAMEL APPLE and some cider. AUTUMN IS FUCKING OVER WITH ALREADY GET OUT OF MY FACE.

My creative energy has been used up making videos for my channel over on whiskeyshotguns. I have some playthroughs there that I’m working on: a Dark Souls one, one on the indie game Shatter, and some videos on Monolith. I’m working there pretty consistently however videos aren’t coming out consistently since I don’t have much time to work on them however I have been uploading weekly so far most of the time however.

Between that I’ve been writing and reading more since I’VE GOT IDEAS OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE. I’ve been really into Kurt Vonnegut lately. He’s great in a way that I wish I would have discovered him sooner. His ideas, and his writing style, speak to me. A very cynical, satirical representation of society thrives in his shorter chapters and sentences. He’s also very funny.

As far as games…whale let me tell ya boy….I’m all over the goddamn place. I decided I would write a collection of one sentence reviews/impressions about all the games I remember playing this summer.

And I won’t proofread these sentences. THE HORROR. THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!!

In no order:

Dark Souls 3 is still a game I like but only when I’m in the mood and lately I’ve been in the mood thanks a lot Seth you smell like shit.

Monolith is a game that is fun but after loosing a lot I don’t really care so much to return to it even though the game is about loosing and the genre is about loosing i don’t care maybe I want to win something once in a while DAMNIT.

Red Dead Redemption Undead Nightmare is a game I never finished so I rebought it and I played through the beginning scene wow.

Saints Row The Third is really fun runs really well on my shitty PC and sometimes I’ll get addicted to it for hours at a time other times I’ll just open and close the main menu whatever dude fuck off.

Divinity Original Sin is a game I played for a bit because the second game came out and I CAN’T RUN IT ON MY PC APPARENTLY so I’m PATIENTLY awaiting the sequels console release whenever that comes out but the first one is still really good just a lot of fucking reading THE BEGINNING IS SO SLOW GODDAMN.

I played a lot of DOOM mods like RPG and RL and Brutal and they’re all fun except RPG took way too long to set up appropriately and when I finally got to play it I was pretty underwhelmed.

Dark Cloud and Dark Cloud 2 are fantastic PS2 JRPGs and I am SOTL because I’ll never finish them but they ARE STILL FUN TO DICK AROUND WITH.

Destiny 2 is a video game that came out I shot stuff inside of that video game it was neat and way better than the first but after a while you’re done with everything I HAVE NO INTEREST IN THE RAID but still good chatroom whenever I FEEL like talking to people.

Planescape Torment is an amazing game that flickers a lot on my computer but I got the enhanced edition I’m going to try that and write a sentence about it later.

Kingsway is pretty neat but I doubt it has much staying power past its gimmick.

Cuphead is a fucking masterpiece.

Hollow Knight is also a fucking masterpiece.

Heat Signature is not a perfect game but the mechanics are really goddamn fun as to be expected from the same dude that brought us Gunpoint this game will keep me occupied for a long time IN BETWEEN ALL THIS OTHER BULLSHIT so please keep an eye out for some sort of review it’s KIND of a roguelike so I BET a Ranking will be in order AND I will have a video of the game up shortly so STAY TUNED GODDAMN.

I just played a session of Tetris 2 and HAHAHAHA wow.

Soul Blazer is a game that is really fun and I want to stream it sometime soon but first I want to beat it on my own so that I don’t look like a fucking dumbass so I’m going to do that first and then I will possibly stream some Soul Blazer.

At this time I should announce that I planned to have episoders (i decided to keep this typo for the LALS HA) up for Dragon’s Dogma but I don’t think that will happen just yet maybe when the game releases for PS4 and XB1 I will have something up because more people need to buy this game and experience how fucking amazing it is.

I tried to play Might and Magic 3 and Ultima Underworlds 1+2 but LOL THEY’RE SO OLD HAHAHAHA i’m too scrubby for these games sorry fam (just blaze it tho).

I pretend to play Fallout New Vegas sometimes.

I played some UnExplored sometimes but usually I don’t.

Dead Cells is a game that is continuously receiving updates so I can’t really review it yet but HOT DAMN that game is amazing.

I also pretend to play Bloodborne sometimes.

I got fucking deep into Diablo for like two weeks there I was grinding on season mode completing sets and kind of pushing greater rifts and then I went to Seattle and SETH WAS LIKE HEY DARK SOULS 3 AND THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN DOING INSTEAD FUCK YOU.

So I started playing Torchlight again and that game is fun huh.

For a while I played Path of Exile and I only really stopped because playing Diablo is a much more laid back experience though I will say PoE is really fucking good and any fan of Diablo, specifically II, should play the game ON PC THE XBOXONE VERSION IS SHIT thanks bro (just blaze it tho).

I’m pretty close to beating Banjo Kazooie and lol I may never go back to that game.

I just started Mario 64 and lol I may never go back to that game.

Paper Mario is so goddamn fun I hope to beat this game someday and I think I will I THINK but GODDAMN.

Have I said Goddamn enough? Yeah? Well fuck you.

Neir Automata is a game where you’re expected to beat it several times to get the full picture and I like that idea I also really like Neir it’s also way too easy fuck you.

Every three months I pretend that I want to get good at Smash lol fuck you.

I played some Diablo II but I stopped because PoE and then D3.

I played Injustice 2 but then I stopped because other games seem to respect the player’s time more than a fighting game that demands years of time before one can master them I guess I don’t know fighting games and me don’t mix but I will always get them because for the first few sessions they are so fun.

Tekken 7 smh wtf lol god this game is good I will play it again PROBABLY NEVER but someday HA.

Fuck you by the way.

I played some wrestling games and they wasted my life more than any other game on this list because I never feel like I’m doing anything they’re like the most passive yet satisfying things on the planet if you ever feel like you want to become completely idle hey buy a fucking wrestling game k?

If this wasn’t toxic enough please consider fucking yourself to the bed of a foreign homeless.

By the way I love Overwatch also I wish it never existed.

Cook, Serve, Delicious is a fun game it’s like a typing kitchen simulator fucking what does that mean I don’t care it’s too stressful so I usually don’t play it for long.

Sometimes I dip into Bioshock thinking I will finally beat this game again and then I play it for ten minutes and I’m like no.

Sometimes I will play Downwell for five minutes I think I hate that game?

When the expansion came out I played XCOM II for a bit that game is really good and it totally runs better on my PC however I’m afraid that it will catch on fire so I refrain from playing it also I’m a scared little weenie when it comes to this thing it’s too stressful I can’t handle it.

Monster Hunter 4 what a good Monster Hunter I want to play more but also Monster Hunter World is right around the corner and haha as weird as it sounds I kind of want to save myself for that game it looks so beautiful and I would hate to be sick of its gameplay when it comes out because let’s be honest the game is going to play exactly like the older ones it’ll just look nicer.

By the way Planescape Torment Enhanced Edition is way better fixes a lot of glitches I was getting running the old version and the UI and zoom functions plus the graphical and resolution enhancements really help since the old game is OLD.

Is that it? Probably not. I played a lot more than I either haven’t a sentence to write, or have forgotten totally.

That’s it for my half-assed update. I’m still alive. The blog is still alive: it’s not dead yet. I have projects planned: I’m going to continue Ranking the Rogue, and I’m thinking about another Ranking project that will include games from my childhood. I’m also reviewing other games, and writing about games in other ways. I think. AND I STILL HAVE TO DO A DEFINITIVE TOP 10 FOR 2016. Y’all ready for WORDS?

i ain’t ready for words never ready for words get outta my face

10/2/2017

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